Sabbath. So much wrapped up in that one word. Seven letters representing a break on the seventh day. In our house, we have committed to not doing anything related to our regular type of work on Sunday, nor going shopping (this we are not perfect in). For me that translates to not doing school work, laundry, or cleaning, and not going grocery shopping. Cooking for my family is still necessary but I try to prepare leftovers, and my husband and kids pitch in to help.
For my husband, the no-work thing appears like it has easier boundaries since he is physically not in his office on Sunday, and he definitely doesn't have to be convinced not to go shopping. For me though, as a homeschooling mom, not shopping on Sunday means I may have to take all three kids with me to the store another day during the week (gasp!), and since I live in my 'office', it's hard to figure out where my work begins and ends.
At once, I feel relief that the Sabbath is coming as I desperately want rest, and yet also I feel stressed that I won't be able to get everything done in order to rest. I liken it to having a substitute teacher come in for me when I taught high school--I may have missed a day of work, but wow the pile of mess I returned to the following day never made it worth it! The worry is this--will I climb the "Saturday mountain", hit the bed exhausted, rest some on Sunday and then start Monday behind? I ask God, if this is truly meant to be a gift to me, a true restoration of the body, mind, and spirit, then why does it sometimes feel like it adds such a burden to my life? Do I really trust God will provide the time I need to accomplish what needs to be done if I obey him in this?
The Bible tells us that Jesus is Lord of the Sabbath, and that the Sabbath was made for man (Mark 2:27-28). It clearly is meant to be a gift to us, a blessing. And I look also at the examples of Mary and Martha as they cared for Jesus in their home (Luke 10). I know Mary made the wise choice, by leaving the mess and sitting at the feet of the Lord in peace. Somewhere in these examples I find a glimmer of hope. A faint stirring within me that yes, this rest is actually attainable, that restoration to my worn out soul is possible. I must, though, look honestly at myself and the barriers I have created that block God's healing work.
I am controlling. I know this to be true. It's not a good quality to have. When it's all said and done, I really think I'm in charge of running this ship, running this 'office' I call home. I say what we eat, when and where we go, and how things are done. Now I believe that wives should submit to their husbands, and for the most part I feel like I do that. I am married to a great man who leads our family spiritually, but doesn't mind me running the day to day details of the house. In fact, I think he likes it. The issue is though, that I shouldn't be in charge. Jesus should be. Does He care what I make for dinner? Yes, I believe He wants us to be healthy. But if I am choosing to involve the kids in too many activities, sports and play dates and as a result, there is not enough time left to adequately prepare for the Sabbath, then I have done wrong. If I obsess over the cleanliness of my house before people come over, and I can't find time to observe the Sabbath, I've done wrong. I should be praying over my choices. Do they honor my family? Do they respect my time? And will they be honoring to the Lord?
I want to be like Mary. I want to sit at the Lord's feet, and take a long deep breath. Ignore the swirls of dog hair in the corners, even if someone comes to visit. (Adios perfectionism!) Deep breath. Ignore the dishes piled in the sink. (Someone else can do them!) Deep breath. Ignore the laundry (homeschoolers can wear pajamas to school). Deep breath.
Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! Let everything that has breath praise the Lord! It's in the praising that He restores. It's in the worship that He makes new. The Sabbath carves out time to make Him the focus, to give him the control. The answer is clear: honor the Sabbath, and I will have breath to praise the Lord.
Blessings from the Heights,
Catherine
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